Game of Thrones: Valar Dohaeris

The moment has FINALLY arrived.

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Game of Thrones has returned! The greatest show on television began it’s third season tonight. I have no doubt that the ratings are astounding, as everyone seemed to be foaming at the mouth for more of this phenomenal show.

This first episode serves as a quick set up of where most major characters are in the world.

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Robb Stark, King in the North, has taken over the Fortress of Harrenhal, with his mother held as prisoner for her betrayal in season 2. He arrives to find Harrenhal sakced and all his supporters murdered and left out to rot as a message to Robb.

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Davos survived the battle of Blackwater and finds his way back to King Stannis and the Red Lady Melissandre. whom Davos blames for leading Stannis astray. Hearing none of his ‘blasphemy’ against her, he is dragged off to the dungeons.

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Sansa and Littlefinger begin to plot her escape from King’s Landing, as she adjust to life without the protection of being Joffrey’s fiancee.

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Speaking of the little shit, he took it easy this week as he watches, and learns, a bit about how to be a loving leader from Margarey Tyrell- his new bethrothed. She makes her way to an orphanage and shows love to the children who lost fathers in the war. This does not seem to go over well with Queen Sersei, who prefers the people fear, rather than love the royals.

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The star of the show, Tyrion sits down with his father, Tywin, to discuss what he feels he deserves- the family home of Casterley Rock. He is flatly told that he will NEVER have the ancestral home, and is nothing more than a whore monger. It is a huge change of pace for the guy who essentially ran the city and saved it from attackers.

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At the top of the world, we find Jon Snow, Supposed bastard son of Ned Stark, has infiltrated the Wildling camp and is brought before their “King” Mance Rayder to see if he is truly there to join the cause.

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Mance is played by one of my favorite actors-Ciarán Hinds, who many will remember as Julius Caesar in “Rome”. Believing Jon’s story, he accepts him into their group.

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Across the sea, we catch up with Daenerys and Jorah as they lead the Dothraki over the sea to Slaver Bay to see if they can purchase an army. The Dragons are getting big, the size of large dogs now, and are more of a threat than before. In the final scene, we are also reacquainted with a character from Season One who steals the show. Ser Barristan Selmy, last seen after quitting Joffrey’s Kingsguard in epic fashion, returns and saves the life of Daenerys, pledging himself to her Queensguard.

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All in all, a terrific start! Hopefully next week with bring us updates on Arya, Bran, and Brienne and Jaime!

Doctor Who: The Bells of Saint John

Doctor Who returns after a terrific first half of season 7 to continue the story and build up to the 50th Anniversary this fall!

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The mystery of Clara Oswin Oswald continues as The Doctor, after a long period of contemplation in 1207AD, gets a phone call- from Clara! The girl who died twice is suddenly in modern London, and working, once again, as a governess. The Doctor arrives just as Walking WiFi Hotspot robots steal her soul! Seriously. This is Doctor Who, this shit happens all the time. He gets her soul back and uncovers a plot by some shadowy villain (the enemy of the season we presume) who has been devouring the minds/souls of humans for some years via the wifi network.

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This time, Clara survives, and the Doctor prepares to make her the new companion.

As always, Stephen Moffat has delivered a terrific script. Matt Smith continues to perform as a superb Doctor, and Jenna-Louise Coleman continues to captivate as Clara! This season has been something special so far. The season finale is this fall, for the 50th anniversary. This week, an announcement was made on who will be appearing in it…

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Hell….yeah.

The Walking Dead Season 3, Episode 15: The Sorrowful Life

I think I am going to start reviewing the few Television shows I watch on this site. I will keep this one short and sweet. Spoilers abound.

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This is the next to last (Penultimate if you are fancy) episode of Season 3, which has been astoundingly good. This week’s episode was all about Merle Dixon, played by the always wonderful Michael Rooker.

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Rooker has taken this character to places I never expected. The Racist blowhard of Season 1 gave way to the warrior of season 3. Tonight took him to new heights. Merle finally chooses between good and evil.

In a previous episode, The Governor issued a “deal” to Rick and the Prison group- turn over Michonne (who took his eye and “killed” his daughter) and he would leave them alone. Now, there was no way that this deal was legit, and Rick knows it. However, there is a small chance that it might be their only way to avoid bloodshed. The choice- turn her over for torture and death, or fight. Rick decides to turn her over.

Merle, knowing that Rick would wuss out, takes Michonne and leads her out of the prison.

Merle guessed correctly, and Rick had a change of heart. Alas, it is too late, and he realizes that Merle has taken her. Daryl rushes after him. We are treated to some wonderful scenes of Merle and Michonne on the road to the meet with the Woodbury people. Along the way, we see hints that Merle is not a bad man. He had never taken a life before he hooked up with the Governor. In the end, Merle chooses good. He releases Michonne and heads out to fight the Governor’s troops alone.

Now, he does some damage, to be sure, to the Woodbury army, but in the end it is too much. The Governor bests Merle in a fight, and shoots him.

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By the time Daryl arrives to save his brother, it is too late. The Governor had shot him in the chest, not head. This insured that he would turn, leaving a horrific sight for Daryl.

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In the most heart wrenching scene of the season, worse than Laurie’s death, Daryl has to put down his now Zombified brother. Norman Reedus deserves an Emmy for this episode. Michael Rooker actually made us feel bad for Merle’s death- a hell of an achievement.

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The finale is on Sunday, and if it is anything like the comic, we are in for more heart wrenching and action packed stuff.

Movie List Part One (Nostalgia Edition)

http://www.wrag.org.au/activities/oldtimemovies.htm

I was going through some older files and I came across my film lists dating back to the beginning!! Wow! As I was not blogging back in those days, I thought that sharing these lists would be beneficial! Important thing to note, I saw very few movies in the theater as a kid/teen. We rented movies out the yin yang, but the cinema was for special trips. I am also not pegging Best/Worst until later in the list, due to low film counts. I will also be numbering them to see what my total tally is! With that in mind-Here we go:

1987

Really?! We are going back 27 years?! Yes we are. I was 8 years old in August of 1987 and this was the first movie I saw in the theater. Now, many others saw films long before they were 8. My parents waited until my brother was 6, and I 8, to attend our first film at the cinema. I don’t think I will be able to keep my future children out of the movie theater until age 8, but I applaud my parents for being respectful of other moviegoers.

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1: My brother and I were MASSIVE He-Man fans back in the 80’s. This movie is odd in how well, and how badly, this film has aged. It is a weird one, but it was my first, and you never forget your first. It is the only movie I saw in the theater that year, and is therefore the Best and Worst of 1987.

1989

Yes, After being exposed to cinema, it was nearly 2 years until we went again! Now, we had VHS (a large library) and cable, so we did not suffer. In fact, I would say that my film exposure was FAR beyond what other kids got to see. This was the time I saw Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Godfather, Caddyshack, and other R rated films, context and guidance by my parents of course. By this point, I was 10, and my brother was 8.

The list:

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2: Honey I Shrunk the Kids: I remember enjoying it.

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3: Peter Pan: My mother dragged us to this one- rerelease of the Disney cartoon. A good movie, a classic even, but even today I would watch any of the others before reaching for this.

1990

We were off to the races now. While some years from here on out did not match the quantity of 1989, the movie bug was firmly planted.

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4: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: another defining movie for kids my age.

yup, only 1 movie. times were tough.

1991

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5: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze: NINJA, NINJA RAP! Despite being horrified as an adult by this, I recall being enthralled by this entry into the series.

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6: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country: This one was powerful! The last film of the original Star Trek Crew! The trailer shocked me, in that  the story could ever end. here it is, still gives me the weeps:

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7: Hook: Bang-a-rang! Rufio! Bizzare movie, but I have a soft spot for Mr Smee.

1992

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8: Batman Returns: Movie of the century for me. I adored it more than the first. Its still a great film.

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9: Home Alone 2: It has charm, and I certainly laughed, but even I knew this was more of the same by this point. Yes, I was starting to develop TASTE.

1993

This was the year I turned 14, started High School, and began to grow up.

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10: Jurassic Park: Blew my goddamned mind! This was probably my “Star Wars” moment in cinema- seeing something you had never seen before. Still one of Spielberg’s top 5.

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11: Son of the Pink Panther: I am proud to have seen this one. It starred one of my new discoveries- Roberto Benigni as the son of Inspector Clouseau. It is notable as the last entry in the original series. At least I saw the last one in theaters. Love these movies.

1994

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12: Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult: Funny funny movie. I love the ending at the oscars.

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13: Major League II: We enjoyed it, a lot, but it had none of the teeth of the original.

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14: The Flinstones: Yuck. Dead on Arrival. John Goodman was made for this role though.

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15: Star Trek Generations: The first film of the Next Generation, but also the Death of Captain Kirk! Shocked and saddened this young Kirk fan.

1995

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16: Batman Forever: It has not aged well, but this was a huge movie at the time. Jim Carrey was at the top of his game, and the insane style was somewhat fresh.

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17: Ace Ventura 2: That Rhino birth scene still destroys me.

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18: Goldeneye: Bond returns! nuff said.

1996

This is an interesting year. I was 16, turned 17, I got my first job in November of 95, and my license to drive in January 96. I wonder what will happen when Ponte has wheels and money?

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19: Black Sheep: Chris Farley and David Spade. Actually not a bad movie.

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20 Broken Arrow: I remember my pal Chad and I having a hell of a time getting into this one. It was rated R. I was 16 and he was 17. They would not let me in! We traveled to another theater and walked in- no problem. Cannot remember one detail of the movie though, lol.

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21 Executive Decision: Every trailer showed this as a Steven Segal movie. He dies 15 or so minutes in, and Kurt Russell takes over. Definitely an improvement.

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22 Mission impossible: Still the best of the series.

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23 The Phantom: SLAM EVIL!!! I don’t care, I still love this film.

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24 The Rock: Sean Connery and Nicholas Cage battling Ed Harris on Alcatraz!

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25 Independence Day: I have not seen this in years, my wife despises it, but I enjoyed it enough on release. It is the quintessential 90’s movie.

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26 The Frighteners: I don’t recall what brought me in to see this, but it was pretty good. Directed by LOTR Peter Jackson!

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27 A Time to Kill: I remember the movie running long and we had to leave early. I did not see the ending until years later.

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28 Kingpin: Still my favorite Farrelly Brothers film. It marked the unofficial start of Bill Murray’s ascension to godhood.

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29 Joe’s Apartment: Not a good movie, but I remember it being the first MTV movie, which was a big deal in the day for a teenager. MTV still meant something other than Snookie.

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30 Island of Dr Moreau: Yikes! So bad. I can still remember sitting in the theater, freaked out by that mutant thing so expertly lampooned by South Park a year later.

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31 Star Trek First Contact: An amazing movie, to this day. The best of the TNG cast.

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32 Mars Attacks: I still love this one. It was just so insane. It’s hard to believe it got made.

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33 Scream: This is the one that defined our generation’s teen years. SCREAM! It restarted the horror genre, and inspired many filmmakers to do the self-aware horror movie.

Well. Holy Crap 1996. Who knew that Money+Car+teenage Ponte = MOVIES!

Lets recap total movies seen here:

1987-1995: 18 movies

1996: 15. That’s right. 45% of my total Cinema attendance, to this point, was in ’96. Insane. Now that we have a larger body to work with, I can start on Best/Worst:

Worst:

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Broken Arrow. I can’t even remember the damn thing, and that is over a time to kill, which I did not finish!

Best:

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Scream. That was the defining film for me. It was one of those movies that hit at just the right time (senior in high school). Looking back, it also captures a time, and place, in our lives. The clothes and hairstyles were of my generation’s high school. A touchstone.

This is the break for Part One. 1996 was a watershed year for me. I attained some independence, a used movies to help soften the loss of my father on January 20th. This was the first big year for movies.

The next, and presumably LONGER part 2 (I might have to do 3) will appear shortly.

 

Movie List Part Two (Nostalgia Edition)

http://www.wrag.org.au/activities/oldtimemovies.htm

Well, part one of this series is up, and now we move further forward as I examine every movie I ever saw in the movie theater!

Using lists and old ticket stubs I saved from days of yore, I am revisiting each year in film that I have experienced. These are films in Cinemas only! No home video or tv views counted (That would be impossible to do).

We have previously covered a decade of films from 1987-1996. This post shall finish up the 90’s and take us to the MILLENNIUM !! (That was far cooler, and scarier if you were around in 1999)

1997

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34 The Relic: Forgettable horror Flick taking place in a museum.

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35 Fierce Creatures: Semi sequel to “A Fish Called Wanda”. Not as good as the first, but still better than most movies out there.

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36 Meet Wally Sparks: I don’t know why I saw this twice in the theater. But I did.

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37 Star Wars: Special Edition:

My first viewing of Star Wars on the big screen. It was a revelation. No more can be said.

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38 Dante’s Peak: The first of the Volcano movies, and the better. Pierce Brosnan versus the volcano. Good stuff.

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39 Vegas Vacation: A lesser entry into the National Lampoon’s Vacation series. Still good enough for a few chuckles.

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40 The Empire Strikes Back : Special Edition: A continuation of the experience of the first film. A great moment for movie goers of the 90’s.

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41 Private Parts: The Howard Stern story. I was definitely more into this guy when I was a teen.

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42 Return of the Jedi: Special Edition: The circle is complete!

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43 The Saint: Val Kilmer as Roger Moore? I don’t think so.  😉

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44 Volcano: Tommy Lee Jones versus a volcano…IN LOS ANGELES!! A silly, but enjoyable movie.

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45 Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery: I am proud to have been one of the 23 people that saw this before it hit home video and became a THING.

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46 The Fifth Element: Underrated film. It was cool, had a good design aesthetic  and an interesting backstory.

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47 Lost World: Sub par sequel to Jurassic Park. Excellent effects, as always.

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48 Trial and Error: Ok, I forgot this piece of shit existed.

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49 Batman and Robin: So much has been said of this legendarily bad movie. I could not add to it. It killed Batman for nearly a decade. Clooney was not a bad choice though. I just wish he had a better movie.

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50 Men in Black: Surprise of the summer for me. I thought for sure it would be crap.

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51 Contact: great movie based on a better book. RIP Carl Sagan.

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52 Air Force One: Harrison Ford!

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53 Spawn: A neutered version of the excellent comic.

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54 Event Horizon: This movie will give you nightmares…for life.

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55 In & Out: Kevin Kline plays an English teacher who does not realize he is gay, until outed by a former student during an Oscar speech. Good movie.

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56 I know what you did last summer: The next big slasher movie to take off after Scream.

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57 Starship Troopers: Better than you remember. Great propaganda satire.

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58 Bean: Mister Bean is the man.

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59 Boogie Nights: Greatest Porn movie ever made! lol. Really good though.

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60 Scream 2: Good follow up to a classic.

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61 Titanic: The big one! This sucker dominated the Earth for at least 6 months.

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62 Tomorrow never Dies: A good Bond film, but a step down fromGoldeneye. The writing is on the wall.

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63 As good as it gets: Jack Nicholson’s last great film. I hope he gets off his butt and gives us another great performance again.

Worst: Trial and Error

Best: Star Wars Trilogy. A cheat, I know, but its the best thing in 97 cinema. statistically, I have seen 63 films in the cinema at this point, 29 in 97. Thats 48% of all in one year. This is probably the highest percentage we will see going forward.

1998

1998 was all about one thing: The count down to Episode I. As early as January, as Titanic was racking up records left and right, there was a lot of talk concerning whether Star Wars could top it.

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64 Spice World: I am not proud of this. lol.

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65 Blues Brothers 2000: A great jam session at the end, but a piss poor movie.

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66 Sphere: My favorite Michael Chrichton novel starring Dustin Hoffman. The movie was ok, but I think there is a remake that could do it justice.

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67 The Man in the Iron Mask: a great early DiCaprio film. This got a bit lost in the Titanic frenzy.

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68 Wild Things: pure trash. good nudity though.

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69 Lost in Space: Bizzare remake of the old show. Strange choices.

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70 City of Angels: Silly movie, Nic Cage as an Angel. lol

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71 Odd Couple II: Poor decisions here. Should not have been made, but it was, and we are stuck with this being the last Matthau/Lemmon collaboration.

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72 Deep Impact: The first of the Asteroid hitting Earth movies. Also the better. The Latter might be more famous, and better cast, but this one was a better film.

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73 Godzilla: Oh Jesus….move along….move along.

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74 The Truman show: Jim Carrey’s 2nd best film. So good.

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75 X-Files: Mulder and Scully on the Big Screen!! I remember enjoying this because it showed a lot more spaceship than ever before.

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76 Armageddon: Such a big loud movie. Such a piece of crap. Good performances by the supporting cast though.

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77 Lethal Weapon 4: Should have stopped with 3.

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78 Mask of Zorro: Antonio Banderas was born to play this.

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79 There’s Something about Mary: A movie that is not as funny today as it was. It was the big comedy of 98 though.

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80 Saving Private Ryan: Spielberg’s 2nd best film. I could watch this one forever. Amazing stuff.

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81 Halloween H20: Jamie lee Curtis returns to the Halloween series! Working off the Scream vibe, this was one of the best in decades for the series.

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82 The Avengers: UGH! This movie saps my will to live!!!

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83 Blade: The beginning of the Marvel Comics renaissance in cinema.

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84 Urban legends: Another 90’s horror film- this one I actually thought was superior to all but Scream 1.

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85 Ronin: One of my all time favorite movies. De Niro was perfect, all was great. A classy, smart, movie.

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86 The Siege: A film about terrorism forcing martial law in NYC, and the US government gets tyrannical. How close they were.

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87 The Waterboy: It was this, or Meet Joe Black, and this was shorter. People only went to see this in November to see the STAR WARS trailer before, and after, the movie.

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88 Enemy of the State: One of the last great Gene Hackman roles, with Will Smith starring. A great film. It could be a sequel to The Conversation.

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89 Psycho: A shot for show remake of Psycho. Just go watch Psycho.

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90 Star Trek: Insurrection: The crew of the Enterprise discovers the Fountain of Youth….and it does not star William Shatner.

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91 The Faculty: Pod People replace teachers at school.

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92 The Thin Red Line: I hated it. Compared to Private Ryan, it was total garbage.

Yikes, such a bad year for film. So many choices for worst…

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Worst: Avengers: This movie is a travesty.

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Best: Saving Private Ryan: you can’t beat it, not with this bunch.

1998 ended up tying 1997 with 29 movies! sheesh! A show of what I meant before concerning percentages.

1997: 29/60 movies=48%

1998: 29/92 movies= 33%

This number will keep necessarily dropping, so we will focus on tally only from here out.

1999

The end of the 90’s! What did I go see? Did I match, or top 29?!

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93 Payback: One of my favorite Mel Gibson films: He plays Parker/Porter whatever in this adaptation of the novel. James Coburn is great in a minor role. My suits man!

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94 Analyze This: A big hit, but ultimately forgettable. Part of the Mafia renaissance of the late 90’s.

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95 Matrix: Surprise! While everyone was waiting for Episode I, this one came out of nowhere! Great movie.

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96 The Mummy: The first, and best of the series. Perfect popcorn entertainment.

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97 The Phantom Menace: I share no hate for this. I say it is a good film, not as good as the originals, but still worthy of the name Star Wars. screw the haters.

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98 Spy Who Shagged Me: Superior to the first in every way. A near perfect comedy.

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99 South Park: Terrific representation of the 1990’s South Park. Its a different animal now.

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100 American Pie: The last of the touchstone movies for me of the 90’s. My generation’s Porky’s.

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101 Muppets from Space: Not very good.

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102 The haunting: remake of The haunting of hell house, which has been filmed a few times. Not as good as 70’s version.

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103 Blair Witch Project: SOOOOOO Bad. Barely a movie.

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104 Summer of Sam: Forgettable movie about a NYC serial killer.

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105 Sixth Sense: M. Night Shamalalalamamaman’s big hit. After Unbreakable, it was all downhill.

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106 Double Jeopardy: Tommy Lee Jones chases Ashley Judd for committing murder!!! Blah.

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107 American Beauty: The finest film about a 45 year old banging a teenager ever made…nope, that’s Lolita. Well, it had that cool trash bag in the wind scene.

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108 Sleepy Hollow: Christopher Walken as the Hessian. Amazing.

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109 World is not enough: I enjoyed this movie, but the cracks are now apparent. Brosnan’s Bond films are heading for a hard fall.

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110 Dogma: Kevin Smith’s critique of Catholicism. Not a bad movie, funny, and well acted. Very VERY sacrilegious though.

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111 End of Days: Arnold versus SATAN!!!!!!!!! lol

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112 Man in the Moon: Jim Carrey’s best movie. He plays comedian Andy Kaufman.

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113 Galaxy Quest: A Star Trek send off, done amazingly well! All are perfect. so so funny.

Worst:

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Blair Witch: Its just terrible. All the hype over this…

Best:

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Phantom Menace: I have to go with my gut. Of all these films, Episode I is the only one I would go out of my way to watch again.

I saw 21 films in 1999, less than the previous years….or did I? As a Star Wars fan, everyone, and I mean everyone I know, wanted to see it with me. Therefore I saw it many times with different people. All told- I saw it 15 times in 1999. Yeah, I know. That makes 36 total screenings in the theater. However, we are looking at individual movies, not screenings.

Tally 113 movies 1987-1999!

Now, the 90’s are over! This section is over too! We now move into more recent history! The Millennium!!

Movie List Part Three (Millennial Edition)

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Here is the first section of Millennial Movies! This will cover 2000-2004, and will provide very brief reviews/impressions of all the films I saw in cinemas in each individual year. We will have a Best and Worst of each year, as well as a tally of total number of films seen, and best/worst of the decade!

Well, here is the first half of the 2000’s!

2000

Bad:

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114 How the Grinch Stole Christmas: UGH! SO SO bad! What the hell were they thinking!?

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115 Mission Impossible II: Seriously? Mission Impossible is supposed to be about a team of spies working together on missions. Tom Cruise working mostly alone, firing guns as while doves fly about is not MI.

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116 Rocky and Bullwinkle: I am ashamed to have seen this in the theater. Robert DeNiro has failed us…

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117 Dracula 2000: Dracula is not Vlad the Impaler. His true identity is…JUDAS ISCARIOT!! I remember this fondly because my Jewish pal Chad was with us at the theater. At the big revelation, Catholic Sean and I both went WHAT!?? and Chad said, fairly loud “Who the f*ck is Judas?”  Funny.

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118 Gone in 60 Seconds: Terrible. A crime to the memory of H.B. Halicki. However, it did have Angelina Jolie in her prime.

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119 Shaft: Oh Sam Jackson….why hast thou forsaken us!? In all honesty, the man makes 23 movies a year. They can’t ALL be good.

Worst:

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120 Battlefield Earth: Proclaimed the worst film of the decade by Critics upon release. The decade was only a couple months old by this point. Words cannot express how bad this movie is. Greedy corporate aliens conquer the earth. a thousand years later, the last free humans in America (who are at the technological level of Native Americans in 1800) uncover the 1000 year old American fighter jets and defeat the aliens. Wow.

Good stuff:

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121 Meet the Parents: A classic comedy, still holds up 13 years later.

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122 Me, Myself, and Irene: A film that does get better with age. Jim Carrey was great here.

bedazzled

123 Bedazzled: Not as good as the original, but still entertaining. Elizabeth Hurley played an excellent Devil.

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124 Dude, where’s my car?: Very underrated! Insanely silly.

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125 The Patriot: a great Mel Gibson movie set in the American Revolution.

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126 Scream 3: The last of the great slasher pics of the 90’s. All downhill after this.

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127 Thirteen Days: gripping version of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

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128 Hannibal: Sequel to Silence of the Lambs. Not as great, definitely needed Jodie Foster. Ray Liota eating his own brain was a nice touch though.

BEST:

3:

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129 X-Men: The Marvel Universe explodes! This is where it all started. The birth of comic movies.

2:

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130 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: My intro to Ang Lee. A magical, and amazing movie.

1:

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131 Gladiator stands tall as one of the better films of the last 15 years.

2000 added 18 movies to the all time count of 131…and rising!

2001

This was a rough year. A lot of misses at the cinema. Some good stuff did filter in though.

Bad:

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132 15 Minutes: Drama about the murder of a Hero Cop for attention. Good performances, but it did not gel.

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133 AI: Spielberg’s tribute to Kubrick. Not that great.

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134 Crocodile Dundee in LA: Last, thankfully, entry into the series. The first was so good, steady decline ever since. A part of me kinda hopes they make a 4th though. lol

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135 Evolution: Alien Spores taking over Earth. Pretty bad. Be honest, who remembered this movie besides me?

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136 Final Fantasy: The Spirits within: This is where the Final Fantasy brand started to go off kilter. They have not recovered.

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137 Kiss of the Dragon: forgettable martial arts film.

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138 Tomb Raider: This offers nothing. Bad movie. Not even the hotness of Jolie could save it.

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139 The Mummy 2: Yikes! Could this series get any worse than this??? (wait a few years)

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140 Pearl Harbor: Goddamn Michael Bay. The attack is beautifully shot, the rest is garbage.

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141 Rush Hour 2: Yikes, Brett Ratner shows up on my poop radar.

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142 Shallow Hal: I disliked this strongly, but it is growing on me. I now only feel mild disgust.

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143 Swordfish: Notable for Halle Berry’s nude scene. Nothing else.

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144 Planet of the Apes: The Tim Burton re-imagining. No, just no. The end made no sense. It ruined the movie.

Worst:

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145 Scary Movie 2: This is a whole different level of suckage. This movie made me hate myself for paying to see it.

Good Stuff:

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146 The Fast and the Furious: Start of this endless series. Better of the bunch.

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147 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: The silliest, and best of the non clerks Clerks series.

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148 Jurassic Park 3: Best film without a script ever made!

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149 Rat Race: The best laugh I have EVER had in a movie (the Hitler scene)

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150 The Score: Damn good movie, despite the machinations of Marlon Brando to wreck it.

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151 Super Troopers: Surprise hit for me. I am now a Broken Lizard fan for life.

BEST:

3:

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152 Ocean’s Eleven: remake that works. Clooney and Co. make the classiest movie of the decade.

2:

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153 Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: I was not even familiar with HP going in, and came out a fan to the end. Very good.

1:

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154 Fellowship of the Rings: My imagination brought to life! Who back then knew what wonders would await us!

2001 added 23 movies for a total of 154 films!

2002

This was an interesting year for movies. The bad was really bad, and the good was mostly “OK” with a few standouts.

Bad:

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155 Blade 2: Yuck! At least this could fall no further right?

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156 Sum of all fears: terrible adaptation of the Tom Clancy novel.

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157 Time Machine: lifeless adaptation of the easiest novel to make into a movie.

3- WAY TIE for WORST!

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158 Star Trek: Nemesis: Holy crap. Well, they at least broke the even number=good thing, right?

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159 Jason X: Jason Voorhees…IN SPACE!!!!!!!

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160 Die Another Day: Nearly killed the Bond Franchise. An abomination. Worse than Octopussy. All of the problems that were accumulating from Tomorrow never dies, onwards, exploded here.

Good Stuff:

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161 Goldmember: One last good Austin Powers film. Lots of laughs.

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162 Chamber of Secrets: Harry Potter returns in another great movie.

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163 Jackass the Movie: The men of my generation make their mark… so funny.

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164 Men in Black 2: Nowhere near as good as #1, but still enjoyable.

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165 Bourne Identity: The first of these superior spy movies! a harsh contrast with Die another Day.

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166 Scooby Doo: Surprisingly funny movie! Well done.

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167 Attack of the Clones: Ok entry into the prequel trilogy. It left too much heavy lifting for #3 though. Anakin’s fall should have started more strongly here.

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168 Undercover Brother: Best comedy of the year. Hilarious.

BEST:

3:

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169 Minority Report: Tom Cruise hits a home run. Based on a story by Phillip K Dick (aren’t all the good ones?) this was a near perfect sci-fi film.

2:

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170 The Two Towers: Better than Fellowship! The Battle of Helm’s Deep, and the performance of the various citizens of Rohan were awesome.

1:

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171 Spider-Man: Though a flawed adaptation, this was the one that really broke through the ceiling for comic movies. I can still remember my mom being amazed by how good it was. This is the last movie She, my brother, and I saw together.

We added 17 films to our new total of 171 films.

2003

This was a lighter, but memorable year, for the most part.

Bad:

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172 Terminator 3: Such a let down after T2. The last scene was pretty good though.

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173 American Wedding: Something was off, the formula was broken.

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174 The Core: Forgettable movie, seriously, what happened.

daredevil

175 Daredevil: Jen Garner meets Ben Affleck. Best thing that happened in this.

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176 Hulk: Ang Lee swings and misses!

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177 League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Sean Connery’s career goes down in flames. Sad.

Worst:

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178 and 179 Matrix 2 and 3: What a one-two punch of garbage. The promise of the original is squandered.

Good Stuff:

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180 Scary Movie 3: A change of writers got me to give this a chance- and it paid off. Excellent movie.

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181 Old School: One of the best comedies ever made, hands down.

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182 Master and Commander: Russel Crowe is stellar. Such a good movie. This one almost made the #3 spot.

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183 X-Men 2: Best X-Men movie until First Class. It ends with such hope for part 3….

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184 Freddy vs Jason: Redeemed, and also closed out these two series. A Last hurrah. After this, both were rebooted into crap territory.

Best:

3:

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185 Kill Bill Volume 1: Tarantino makes the martial arts movie for the ages.

2:

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186 Pirates of the Caribbean: Amazing movie, worthy of all its sequels.

1:

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187 Return of the King: Sticks the landing, and then some. Jackson completes the modern epic. This movie is all kinds of awesome. a great achievement.

15 movies to bring us to 187!

2004

The last year for this list. It was a larger year too. More good than bad- always welcome.

Bad:

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188 Day After Tomorrow: So so bad. Snow hurricanes. Packs of wolves…

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189 Meet the Fockers: No, no, no. They should have left the first one alone.

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190 Around the World in 80 Days: with Jackie Chan! I think not.

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191 Blade 3: I heard good buzz on this. The buzz lies.

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192 Fahrenheit 9/11: Moore tries too hard.

Good Stuff:

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193 Prisoner of Azkaban: The 3rd Harry Potter was Ok, just ok though. I hate the freeze frame ending.

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194 Shrek 2: Superior sequel and best of the series.

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195 Incredibles: One of the best Pixar films. Everything works here.

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196 Passion of the Christ: Very well made film, regardless of my thoughts on the maker, and his controversies. Powerful cinema.

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197 Troy: Great cast, good telling of the battle of troy.

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198 Ocean’s Twelve: Not as good as 11, but very watchable.

alexander

199 Alexander: Alexander the great! Not so great. More like Alexander the OK.

aviator

200 Aviator: Leo’s best role until Django. Good movie.

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201 Bourne Supremecy: Good, but nothing like the book. The book was supremer. lol.

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202 Chronicles of Riddick: Good, but strange follow up to Pitch Black. Sequel comes out soon, so it all works out.

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203 Club Dread: Broken Lizard returns! Very very funny.

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204 Collateral: Good Tom Cruise movie, playing his age for once.

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205 Dodgeball: almost best comedy of the year. ARR!

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206 Hellboy: Ron Perlman does the character justice. Good stuff.

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207 I, Robot: Nothing like the books, but still entertaining. Will Smith is pretty good.

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208 Sideways: My opinion drops as time goes on, but still a very entertaining drama. Giamatti is a great actor.

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209 Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: They went for it. They did not succeed, but they tried, and I like that.

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210 Team America: Best puppet movie of 2004. Also hilarious.

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211 Van Helsing: Hugh Jackman versus Frankenstein and Dracula!

Best:

3:

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212 Spider-Man 2: Superior to the first in every way. The ideal comic book movie.

2:

Anchorman

213 Anchorman: The greatest comedy of the last 20 years, possibly ever. Will Ferrell achieves legendary status here.

1:

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214 Kill Bill Volume 2: Tarantino gives us something entirely different from volume 1, and it is superior. Its all upwards for him from here on out to Django.

2004 gave me 28 movies! Wow! That knocks our total for 1987-2004 to 214! I wonder where the numbers will end.

That is the end of Part one of the Millennial Movie List!! As I am doing a best/worst for the decade, I need to choose a winner to hold the half decade mark.

Best:

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Kill Bill (entire) Great cinema.

Worst:

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Battlefield Earth (The prediction may hold true!)

 

Movie List Part Four (Millennial Edition)

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Well!

My 2 part retrospective on EVERY MOVIE I have ever seen in a cinema is now in its 4th part! (eep)

This chapter will catch us up to the end of the 00’s. As before, we will list good/bad movies and then show the WORST and BEST. At the end, we will proclaim the Best/Worst of the decade! This was a close one!

2005

Bad Stuff:

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215 Doom: A really really bad movie. I am surprised that Karl Urban returned to Sci Fi after this film, let alone a few GREAT sci fi films (Dredd, Star Trek). It is basically what you think it is- zombie monsters on a Mars Colony. The video Game “Doom” translated to screen with no talent or ingenuity in its writing.

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216 Narnia: Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe: I did not enjoy this film. I was not a reader of the books, and I have vague memories of my mother trying to force the 1980’s tv version down my throat. When Santa Claus showed up and gave the kids magical weapons, I pretty much called BS right then and there.

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217 Fantastic Four: Sheesh! What the heck was this? I personally enjoy Dr Doom actor Julian McMahon quite a bit, but he was completely miscast.

Worst:

218 King Kong: Sorry PJ! This was just a misstep of epic proportions. Far too long, and just not entertaining.

Good Stuff:

brothers_grimm

219 Brothers Grimm: I really knew nothing going into this film. I sat down, started watching and was shocked. “Hey!” I said to my wife and friend with us. “This is just like a Terry Gilliam movie! It’s even got Johnathan Pryce!” They looked at me horrified. “This IS a Gilliam movie! idiot!” hehe.

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220 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: This movie was handicapped from the start. It was never going to reach the level of affection that the old Gene Wilder film possessed. It does a good job though. Depp was well cast.

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221 Constantine: Hellblazer comes to the screen! A good adaptation. As they prepare to reuse the character for the “Justice League Dark” film, I hope that Keanu is asked to return.

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222 Dukes of Hazzard: A guilty pleasure. I love the Broken Lizard guys, and they made this one. Jessica Simpson’s pants (circa 2005) nearly ended my engagement to Tatum.

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223 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Wow. Epic filmmaking. As in the books, this is the film where everything turns a corner. Voldemort comes back, draws blood, and shit gets real. Such a great film.

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224 Robots: A cute animated film that I enjoyed, but simply forgot existed.

serenity

225 Serenity: The big screen finale to Firefly by Joss Whedon. I was lucky to meet the entire cast at Comic-Con that summer, and I am glad to have gotten a chance to congratulate Joss on getting this film made.

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226 Sky High: We almost skipped this one, but Bruce Campbell as the Gym teacher won us over. Cool movie.

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227 War of the Worlds: Fantastic Spielberg action film, of the type he stopped making. Tom Cruise is great in this.

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228 Wedding Crashers: A standard Vince Vaughn comedy, but still good.

Best:

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3:  229 Revenge of the Sith: The FINALE! (until 2015 apparently) This is what I’d been waiting for since childhood- Anakin Skywalker becomes Darth Vader. I was not disappointed. This was the best of the trilogy.

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42: 230 Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: I thought for sure this would suck…and it DID NOT! They captured the insanity of the novel quite perfectly.

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1: 231  Batman Begins: Talk about unexpected. There was little buzz on this movie. I was almost dreading it- ANOTHER Batman movie?! Let it stop! I went anyway. Well…if you’ve seen it, and I know you have, you know why this is #1.

We add 17 movies in 2005, bringing the total to 231 movies!

2006

A rough year for some comic movies, but a great for others.

Bad stuff:

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232 Scary Movie 4: Whatever goodwill #3 earned with me was pissed away in this installment. What an embarrassment to all involved. This is where I exited the Scary Movie crazy train.

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233 Superman Returns: Ugh! Superman is a stalker now!? Horrible Comic movie! How could this be topped?

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234 X-Men 3: AIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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235 Snakes on a Plane: Proof that comic-con buzz does not guarantee a great/good film.

Worst:

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236 Poseidon: Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine should have bitch slapped the crew responsible for this one. The Poseidon Adventure is one of my “Go-to” films when I need something good. This might be my most hated movie ever…except Battlefield Earth.

Good Stuff:

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237 Pink Panther:  A surprisingly good adaptation of the Inspector Clouseau character. Steve Martin is pretty good in the lead, and Kevin Kline is perfection as Dreyfus.

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238 Mission Impossible 3: A complete turn around from #2. JJ Abrams delivers the goods!

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239 Nacho Libre: Jack Black’s finest film to date, and after. Perfect movie for a hot summer afternoon.

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240 Clerks 2: A good, but not as good as #1, type of film. The heart is there, but its just can’t recapture the magic.

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241 Borat: Genius. Pure genius. Cohen is the best at what he does. He’s like the ultimate evolution of Tom Green, except with talent.

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242 Talladega Nights: Will Ferrell continues to dominate. Ricky Booby. Shake and Bake. Classic.

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243 Beerfest: The Broken Lizard boys strike again! Their best film since Super Troopers. Underground Beer drinking needs to be a real sport.

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244 Jackass 2: Ah, the men of my generation. Gotta love em.

Best:

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3: 245  Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Ahoy Matey! Holy crap, did they top #1 or what?! Perfection.

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2: 246 V For Vendetta: radically different than the comic, but just as impacting. Tremendous work by all involved.

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1: 247 Casino Royale: Daniel Craig made me eat crow. I initially thought he was a poor choice. I have never been so happy to be wrong. A phenomenal start to his tenure as Bond. Little did I know what was to come with Skyfall!

16 added in 2006, total 247!

2007

A crazy year, some really really bad movies, and a couple outstanding entries

Bad Stuff:

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248 Die Hard 4: No where near the quality of the originals. Even #2.

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249 Fantastic Four 2: It took all that was bad in the first, amplified it, and then ruined the biggest villain in Marvel Comics.

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250 Shrek 3: King Arthur?! Really? So bad.

Worst

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251 Ghost Rider: It almost seems unfair to pick on this movie, but I must. Who thought casting Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider was a good idea? Who further allowed him to play the role like Evel Knievel?

Good Stuff:

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252 Spiderman 3: I don’t share the universal hate for this one, but it was “ok”. A huge step down from #2. Helping this is that it might be the only version of the Symbiote suit we ever see on screen.

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253 Aquateen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters: How sad is it that I wrote that name from memory? It is a Hunger Force film, true to its roots.

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254 Harry Potter 5: I feel like they fumbled the death of Sirius a little bit, but still enjoyable.

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255 Simpsons: Literally 20 years too late. Well, more like 17. Still enjoyable.

Unknown

256 Superbad: Seminal comedy of the year. Crude, but memorable. it created more than a couple stars.

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257 Balls of Fury: A film I am incredibly proud to have seen in the Theater. Christopher Walken as the Asian Crime Boss was inspired. One of the better spoofs of Enter the Dragon.

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258 American Gangster: Tragically underrated film. Amazing performances by both leads.

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259 Beowulf: It had that creepy “Polar Express” style of animation, but was a good telling of the tale.

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260 Pirates 3: A step down from the high that was #2, but still very good. The presence of Geoffrey Rush is appreciated.

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261 I am Legend:   Will Smith’s best Blockbuster to date, and he’s had a few great ones. This is only one we own though.

Best:

3)

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262 Transformers: Man oh man! That first film was so damn good. Easily a top three picture for me.

2)

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263 300: The manliest movie ever made. Gerard Butler’s abs are a force to be reckoned with. The production on a sequel has me worried. Don’t mess with perfection.

1)

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264 Ocean’s Thirteen: The one film of 2007 that I could watch on a loop. As before, perfect performances, but this time with the addition of the incomparable Al Pacino. I wish we were up to Ocean’s 16 by now, but this was a good place to stop. RIP Bernie Mac.

17 added in 2007. 17 seems to be an average number of movies for me. This moves us to 264

2008

A cool year. This year started the typical 8 and 9 of the decade surge in good cinema. A pattern I saw in 88 and 89, and 98 and 99 movies.

The Bad:

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265 Narnia 2: Like the first, but not as bad. For my tastes, a DEFINITE step up from Lion, Witch, and Wardrobe. Still left me cold.

wanted

266 Wanted: How could they screw this up? A world where Supervillains have defeated the heroes, and WIPED all memory of them from existence. They rule the earth. They took that, and made it a film about magical cotton looms that order people to be assassinated. BS.

hancock

267 Hancock: A misstep for Mr Smith. Started off strong, should have soared after the revelation of the other super powered person. Instead it fell flat.

WORST:

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268 The Mummy 3: Wow. I thought 2 was weak. This was the biggest pile of steamy dog poop of 2008. I was ashamed at having seen this. By the point the Abominable Snowmen showed up, spoke Chinese, and started Kung Fu fighting, I was screaming bloody murder at the screen. Horrible theater etiquette, but deserved. Rachel Weisz was Weisz to avoid this one.

The good:

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269 Cloverfield: A decent movie, but the pre film hype may have been more interesting than the final result. Still a good movie.

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270 Indy IV: I can’t see the hate. No more fantastic or ridiculous than any of the others. Its great to see Ford reprise his greatest character.

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271 Zohan: Funny movie. John Turturro steals it though. Last good Sandler movie.

kung_fu_panda

272 Kung Fu Panda: Great animated film! Enjoyable from start to finish.

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273 Incredible Hulk:  SUCH an improvement over the Ang Lee film. It was sad to see Norton bow out of Avengers, but Ruffalo really nailed it.

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274 Get Smart: One of my favorite tv shows. A decent adaptation.

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275 Hellboy 2: Great follow up. I hope they make a 3rd someday.

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276 Pineapple Express: Good modern stoner film. That’s about it.

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277 Clone Wars: Surprisingly good! Nothing compared to the heights the series would take us over the next 5 years.

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278 Death Race: Excellent B Movie with near A List actors. I never need to see it again, but once was good.

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279 Quantum of Solace: A film that rises in my estimation with each viewing. I get the bad reviews, but I don’t share the opinion. I hope the thread of this film is picked up in #4.

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280 Benjamin Button: Brad Pitt’s best movie. A really amazing adventure. Pitt really sells this, along with the amazing Cate Blanchett performance.

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281 Valkyrie: Possibly Tom Cruise’s best film. He is a physical match of Stauffenberg. Terrific cast.

Best:

3) TIE:

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282 Iron Man: The movie that started Avengers Phase One! RDJ was born to play this role.

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283 Tropic Thunder: RDJ steals the show. Best comedy of the year. Recommended to all. Great performances from entire cast.

2)

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284 Wall-E: Almost the best movie of the year. Easily the best film Pixar ever made.

1)

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285 The Dark Knight: Could it be anything else? An amazing movie. Ledger was captivating. Such a loss. I walked in thinking that the hype over him getting an oscar nomination was entirely because he died. I walked out convinced he would win it.

21 films make the list for a strong 2008. The tally stands at 285

2009

The end of the decade. The comic book decade.

The Bad:

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286 The Spirit: A movie I REALLY wanted to love. In many ways, true to the Eisner comic, but in others completely off. Frank Miller leaned too heavily in his “Sin City” aesthetic.

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287 The Wrestler: A critical darling and the Resurrection of the career of Mickey Rourke. It did nothing for me. The performances were good, but it all just fell flat. The autograph signing scene really hits reality though.

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288 Friday the 13th: Not a good entry in this series. Better than Jason X, but still bad. It tried to recapture the vibe of the first 3 films, but failed. Wake me up when the REAL Jason returns.

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289 Bruno: Not as funny as Borat. Amusing in places, but mostly annoying.

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290 Paranormal Activity: Silly. I applaud their ability to make a cheap movie, and be successful, but it did nothing for me.

Worst:

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291 X-Men Origins- Wolverine: Ugh! I thought they could not get worse than X-Men 3. They achieved it though. X Men First Class, and the upcoming Days of Future Past have a lot of heavy lifting to do after this.

The Good:

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292 Gran Torino: Eastwood’s Last great role. He is focusing on Directing from here on out, and this is a hell of a way to go out. A wonderful movie.

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293 The Reader: Another great film. A challenging film that explores a romance between a woman and a young man in Germany. She is much older than he is. She is accused of Nazi War Atrocities. Well written, and amazingly acted. Great stuff.

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294 Milk: Sean Penn is amazing in this. He fully inhabits the character of Harvey Milk. One of his best roles.

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295 Slumdog Millionaire: A fantastic movie, set in India, we see the story of a young man who finds himself on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”. Well crafted.

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296 Pink Panther 2: Not as good as the first, but that is mostly due to the loss of Kevin Kline from the cast.

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297 Watchmen: A FANTASTIC adaptation of the film. I disagree strongly with the hate of this, and its changes.

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298 Angels and Demons: A hundred times superior to the Da Vinci Code. Ewan McGregor is great as the young Priest. A great movie.

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299 Terminator 4: A worthy sequel to this series.  Better than 3, and I am sad it did not catch on as strongly with audiences.

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300 Hangover: What more can be said. A cultural touchstone.

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301 Harry Potter 6: One of the best in the series to this point. This is where the series hits the start of the finale. All the young actors come into their own here, and are remarkable.

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302 GI Joe: A flawed, but good movie. It had some serious issues regarding Cobra Commander, but it had a lot of great things happening.

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303 2012: I hate that I enjoyed this movie. That is all.

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304 Avatar: Ah, the great movie! Dances with Wolves/Fergully…IN SPACE! Amazing effects, good story. I enjoyed it immensely.

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305 Men who stare at goats: Now this was a great movie. Investigation into a 1960’s program to develop Psychic powers in the Military. So..SO funny. “I am a Jedi master”

Best:

3)

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306 District 9: Surprise movie of the year. I witnessed the incredible promotional campaign at Comic Con, and decided to give it a chance. I was not let down. A GREAT film.

2)

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307 Inglorious Basterds: Oh… to place this at #2. Tarantino’s best movie. Melanie Laurent! Brad Pitt! Christoph Waltz!!! That man was a revelation.

1)

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308 Star Trek: How could it be anything else. I saw it 9 times in the theater. Everyone I knew wanted to see it with me. This is one of my all time favorites.

23 movies were added for a total of 308 movies from 1987-2009!

The Decade is over! I am gonna write one more article to catch up on 2010, and recap 11 and 12. Look for that soon. But the question remaining is this:

Best and worst of the Decade 2000-09?

Worst:

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Battlefield Earth: Insurmountable. Proclaimed the worst movie of the decade, just as the decade began. They were right. As bad as things got, nothing matched the level of suckage attained by this POS.

Best:

This is interesting, as it does fluctuate as time goes on. Initially, Star Trek was the film that really did it for me. Dark Knight was a revelation, The Bond Reboots were awesome and Lord of the Rings was a cultural touchstone,but when the 10 films I chose as best for the decade were lined up, there was one that rose to mythic level for me.

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Inglorious Bastards

Yes! One not even on my top of the year. lol.

2009 seems to be one of the more hotly debated years for me. There was SO much happening that year. Kill Bill nearly had this. In fact, if I follow the rules Kill Bill wins.Kill Bill Vol. 1 fight scene

However, Bastards rises above it, despite my love affair with the Bride/Bill/ the whole bloody affair. This is due to one, and only one, reason:

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The man is magic. Pure magic. Even in bad films he is captivating. With Tarantino he is ephemeral. This movie even had Michael Fassbender nearly steal it just by drinking a glass of scotch. The best of the decade.

Entertainment Analysis by Superponte