So, I take my first step into the overpopulated world of blogging. As I write, I ask myself “Why am I doing this”. The answer is simply that it is something interesting to do. I don’t have much care of whether anyone ever reads these words, or if they are even considered interesting. I just want to write.
Halloween 2010. This makes me feel OLD.
The first thing that brings me back to 1983 are the elastic strings over my ears. I can still feel them clinging to the back of my head, holding the cheap plastic mask on my face. The vinyl body suit I am wearing is yellow. The face is that of a homosexual robot. Yes, I was C-3PO for Halloween. My younger brother got to dress as R2-D2 that year. It is but one example of the Halloween costumes of my youth, that upon reflection are rather…lame.
My wife finds the Halloween themes of my youth to be quite amusing. My father was probably a bit concerned, wanting a masculine child, but I am sure he got over it. There is no record of what I did for my first 3 Halloweens. If I had to hazzard a guess: it was likely a simple mask- or nothing at all. 1 year olds should not be eating candy anyway. We do have photos from 1982. I went in the standard vinyl suit, plastic mask, store bought costume typical of the era. I was dressed as a Smurf. My 2 year old Brother was wearing a SATAN mask.
Richie-1. Michael-0
In 1983, my brother as we stated, was R2, to my 3PO.
R-2, M-0
’84 brought Pac-Man for my brother, and HE-MAN for me. While at the time He-Man was considered quite a “manly” thing to be, history has not been kind to him. Luckily, at this point I abandoned my unintentionally gay theme.
R-3, M-0
’85 was the year Rich went as SUPERMAN! The ultimate thing to be. I, was dressed in normal clothing, with some sort of em0-troll mask on. The thing was not even remotely scary. It just looked sad, like its Troll Grandma had just committed suicide or something.
R-4, M-0.
By this point, it is 1986. I am 7. I need to turn this thing around. At this point, I was a normal, active kid. Then I discovered Garfield! Not only did this character give me a life-long craving for Lasagna, it precipitated a weight gain as I was nearing 8 years old. I still carry it with me. Thanks a lot Jim Davis. I dressed as my new hero- Garfield the Cat. My brother was Dracula.
R-5, M-0
’87 is the year I began to seriously fight back. For some unknown reason, my parents allowed me to watch Horror movies. I am not talking the creepy scary ones that are family friendly. I got to watch the “mass-murdering, blood spurting out of naked women” horror movies. Richie went as Dracula again (a repeat!!). I was Jason Voorhees. Boo-YA!
R-5, M-1
’88 brought many things to my rapidly expanding body. One of them was COMIC BOOKS! It would become a life-long obsession, one I am proud to have. The first character that got me reading comics was Batman. At the time, the old Adam West Batman show was in syndication, and I was liking it. So, I beat the Bat-mania that surrounded the Tim Burton Batman film by 6 months. My brother was a Demon Monster.
R-6, M-2 Lets call this one a tie.
1989 is the year I turned 10 years old. It is also the last year I trick or treated. I was a big kid, 5’9 and 150 pounds. So, it was time to hang up the cape. This year, I was Batman again, this time wearing an ULTRA cool rubber full head Batman mask. My brother was some other kind of demon. Tied again.
R-7, M-3.
While Richie ended up winning the battle throughout our childhoods, I had a few decent costumes through my 20’s. An SNL Bee, Bill Clinton w/cigar, culminating a few years ago when I went in what I considered to be my favorite costume ever.
ROMAN TOGA, all the while sporting a Mexican Luchadore wrestling mask. I am told it was quite memorable. My pal Sean went as an “Evil Cardinal”. Although he seemed to be always smiling, making it a bit tough for us to figure out what was so evil about it. We were hoping for one of those inflatable erections or something.
BUT…. just as I was feeling proud of myself…
Yup
Richie ONCE AGAIN wears a suit that is an immediate smash, and makes my feeble attempts at costuming pale in comparison. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Beer-Man.
Richie-8, Mike – FAIL.
So, what can we take away from all this? While my brother is inherently cooler than me when it comes to Costumes, at least I am not bald.
Join me in my next posting when I discuss my receding hairline.
Happy Halloween
The Skinny from the Fatty 