The 395th film I have seen in theaters…
Amazingly, not all that bad.
It’s been a few years since the battle of Chicago in Transformers 3. The Government, led by Kelsey Grammer’s shady CIA agent who is supposed to be hunting Decepticons, but is actually killing all Transformers. He is working with an evil Tranformer from outer space who is trying to collect a bounty on Optimus Prime. This bounty is being offered by “The creators” whoever it was that made the transformers. Once dead, Grammer is sending their bodies to Stanley Tucci’s Steve Jobs type character who is using them to create human made transformers to be used for American defense and as consumer products. God, that sounds stupid when I actually type it out.
Marky Mark is a failed inventor from Texas who is trying to raise a daughter, but is broke and is losing his house. He finds a beat up old truck and upon repairing it, discover that it is Optimus Prime. The CIA comes after them, they go on the run, the surviving autobots, none of whom we have met before other than Bumblebee, team up to stop Grammer, Tucci, and the Bounty Hunter. Also Dinobots are thrown in for the final battle.
Marky Mark is the dad with the hot daughter, and this other guy is her race car driver boyfriend, of whom Marky Mark disapproves.
Kelsey Grammer is very Kelsey Grammerish in this one.
Tucci can do no wrong. He’s great in everything.
Hey, it’s Optimus Prime riding a dinobot into battle. What did people really expect from this? Its a big dumb Michael Bay action flick. This is a known quantity. People like to turn off their brains, see robots riding dinosaurs, and watch pretty girls run away from massive explosions. On that level, this film is a massive success. I enjoyed part 3, and found this of similar quality. It was nice to see Frank Welker return as the voice of Galvatron- the resurrected Megatron.
Ranking:
1: TF3- Dark of the Moon
2: TF4-Age of Extinction
3: Transformers
4: TF2- Revenge of the Fallen, that weird racist one.
The Skinny from the Fatty 
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